Our conversations and actions are the most telling of who we are and what we are about; and if they are not God-honoring, then how are we, as a whole, able to honor God properly? Topics and questions that are out of line can lead to and are often based in immoral thoughts and intentions. It seems that people of my generation are obsessed with the question, "How far have you been?" While it wouldn't be surprising to hear this question from someone who does not know Christ, it is disconcerting to have brothers and sisters in Christ discussing their sex lives both in private and group settings on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, for us ladies, if a guy is asking us this, it may be because part of him (no matter how small) is considering "how far" he can push you, if not consciously. If he or she is not your spouse (or fiancee), it is not a question to be asked or answered. Let me explain further.
Philippians 4:8 states, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Ephesians 5:4 says, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Thanksgiving. Think about it, how many times do we complain that something isn’t right in our lives a day, or even the fact that we just don’t like something God has granted us? More problematic than that, I, for one, am very guilty of slipping into conversations filled with gossip, hate, complaints, or in particular immoral talk, and God’s really been showing me this lately. Ideally, one thing I’d like to start in order to remedy my complaining is every time I’m tempted to complain, think of something different for which I'm thankful forl. Proverbs 22:11 says that “He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.” Who better to have as a friend than God? He is truer than any brother and is truly the most ready helper than any human could be. More especially, Ephesians 5:3 states, “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.” We are called to be saints among men and, granted, we are made such by Christ’s redeeming blood, but that does not excuse or give us Christian liberty to talk of such things. The Proverbs 31 woman honors her husband ALL the days of her life (this includes before she is actually married), and to be revealing things about her personal business openly is disclosing exceptionally private facts and not honoring to her husband (future or present) or to God. ( Proverbs 31:12, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”)
So what can be done to prevent it happening again in the future? The primary ingredient is true repentance of it all, with the understanding of how/why it is wrong, dishonoring to God, and harmful to our own witness of Him. Galatians 5:16 says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." So, if we are gratifying the flesh, then we are not walking by the Spirit. If we want to honor God with our conversations, we need to spend time with Him and in His Word and in prayer. Psalms 119:11 says, "I have stored up your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Memorizing Scripture is a wonderful tool to help conform us to God's image. Finding myself tempted in these areas, I hope to memorize my own personal "fighter verses" to combat these sins.
One way to avoid such conversations would be to dismiss them when they come up and deem them as unacceptable. It’s private business and should not be revealed to just anyone, nor is it right to ask details of others’ sexual lives. It is possible to just leave a question well alone and there is no pressure to answer one when posed. No one can make you answer; they can make a situation unpleasant or uncomfortable, but that is all. Put more simply as I usually say, it's only awkward if you make it so. ;) For further protection from these things in the future, it would be best to monitor how much time is spent with people who have these things as a regular part of their lifestyle/conversation and do not understand its gravity. I Corinthians 15:33 tells us not to be deceived because "bad company ruins good morals." Too much association with sin will cause us to stumble.
So, why did I tag you? Is it because I think you're a filthy minded potty mouth? No, I need two things from you: prayer and accountability. Keeping one's self pure is a difficult business and it's a constant battle for most of us. So I'm asking that you hold me in prayer and help keep me accountable.
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