Honoring God in Both Word and Deed

Our conversations and actions are the most telling of who we are and what we are about; and if they are not God-honoring, then how are we, as a whole, able to honor God properly? Topics and questions that are out of line can lead to and are often based in immoral thoughts and intentions. It seems that people of my generation are obsessed with the question, "How far have you been?" While it wouldn't be surprising to hear this question from someone who does not know Christ, it is disconcerting to have brothers and sisters in Christ discussing their sex lives both in private and group settings on a fairly regular basis. Unfortunately, for us ladies, if a guy is asking us this, it may be because part of him (no matter how small) is considering "how far" he can push you, if not consciously. If he or she is not your spouse (or fiancee), it is not a question to be asked or answered. Let me explain further.

Philippians 4:8 states, “Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Ephesians 5:4 says, “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Thanksgiving. Think about it, how many times do we complain that something isn’t right in our lives a day, or even the fact that we just don’t like something God has granted us? More problematic than that, I, for one, am very guilty of slipping into conversations filled with gossip, hate, complaints, or in particular immoral talk, and God’s really been showing me this lately. Ideally, one thing I’d like to start in order to remedy my complaining is every time I’m tempted to complain, think of something different for which I'm thankful forl. Proverbs 22:11 says that “He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.” Who better to have as a friend than God? He is truer than any brother and is truly the most ready helper than any human could be. More especially, Ephesians 5:3 states, “But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.” We are called to be saints among men and, granted, we are made such by Christ’s redeeming blood, but that does not excuse or give us Christian liberty to talk of such things. The Proverbs 31 woman honors her husband ALL the days of her life (this includes before she is actually married), and to be revealing things about her personal business openly is disclosing exceptionally private facts and not honoring to her husband (future or present) or to God. ( Proverbs 31:12, “She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.”)

So what can be done to prevent it happening again in the future? The primary ingredient is true repentance of it all, with the understanding of how/why it is wrong, dishonoring to God, and harmful to our own witness of Him. Galatians 5:16 says, “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh." So, if we are gratifying the flesh, then we are not walking by the Spirit. If we want to honor God with our conversations, we need to spend time with Him and in His Word and in prayer. Psalms 119:11 says, "I have stored up your Word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Memorizing Scripture is a wonderful tool to help conform us to God's image. Finding myself tempted in these areas, I hope to memorize my own personal "fighter verses" to combat these sins.

One way to avoid such conversations would be to dismiss them when they come up and deem them as unacceptable. It’s private business and should not be revealed to just anyone, nor is it right to ask details of others’ sexual lives. It is possible to just leave a question well alone and there is no pressure to answer one when posed. No one can make you answer; they can make a situation unpleasant or uncomfortable, but that is all. Put more simply as I usually say, it's only awkward if you make it so. ;) For further protection from these things in the future, it would be best to monitor how much time is spent with people who have these things as a regular part of their lifestyle/conversation and do not understand its gravity. I Corinthians 15:33 tells us not to be deceived because "bad company ruins good morals." Too much association with sin will cause us to stumble.

So, why did I tag you? Is it because I think you're a filthy minded potty mouth? No, I need two things from you: prayer and accountability. Keeping one's self pure is a difficult business and it's a constant battle for most of us. So I'm asking that you hold me in prayer and help keep me accountable.

New Persectives

In the course of the past year, there have been multiple issues that have presented themselves to me that have challenged me, particularly those of maturity (in work and elsewhere) and what the concept of love fully entails. I've touched on this subject before in previous notes, but it never ceases in changing in shape and color. For myself as a young woman entering her twenties, I am daily faced with the choice of entering into one of two worlds. The first offers a life of leisure and little care - one of slacking off responsibilities to party hearty and to only work towards the next paycheck or test grade. The second option is to spend my time cultivating myself as much in my walk with the Lord as He allows in and through these responsibilities in addition to daily striving to positively influence those around me. Personally, I've already chosen the latter option, but it is a huge challenge. With the pressures of media and peers pushing me to do what I feel, it's hard to stick to my guns and not give up working towards a better life. But more importantly, things can be too accommodating in such an advanced society as we live in. Have you ever thought about how things would be if we had nothing to rely on but God? We already do, in a sense, but I'm meaning in scratching the influences of family, peers, and so on. What more would we do if we lived for God and the furtherance of His kingdom alone rather than just seeking to fulfill the minimum of what's required of us? A lot of it boils down to just learning to think on your own and act on what you should already be doing without having others to tell you what's needed.

The concept of love tends to be much more vague, as it is so easily misconstrued as a crush or rationalized/overused in such a way that it lessens its value. The song "Chasing Cars" has lyrics that express how often and too little the words 'I love you' have lost their depth in the phrase, "Those three words are said too much, they're not enough." I know that it's hard for me as it is for everyone else not to jump into something without thinking, as we all just want to find that person that values us for who we are that we can care for in return, resulting in a hasty relationship with the first likely candidate. Even if it is the right person, not waiting on God's timing will still cause problems in the end. A huge issue is that it is said without really knowing what's meant by it. To truly love someone and say so, not only would you need to know the person fully, but it also means that no matter how circumstances or the personal character in you or the other person change, whether in fault or no, you'll still be there to support and care for them. It means a willingness to give of yourself, often times sacrificing your own comfort for the sake of the other person's happiness, or doing whatever is realistically in your capabilities to contribute to a better life for the other, be it friend, lover, spouse, family member, or, most importantly, foe. And Who better to consider as a perfect example of this kind of love than our Savior? He is the Son of God, our Creator, Ruler of the universe, One Whom we personally crucified in our sin, but yet conquered death for our sake and still continues to daily intercede for us, relates to our pain and suffering, and loves and protects us, though we've done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Josh Bales' song "Your Love Holds On" better describes it:

There are reasons you could leave me
Oh a million or so
So why you stay here, why you do this
I really don't know
I'm not handsome, I'm not special
I'm just an ordinary guy
I lose my car keys, I'm always moody
So tell me why

You love me
When I'm anything but lovely
When no one else would want me
Your love holds on

What did you know from the beginning
All the wretched things I'd done
That underneath my silver armor
I was hiding who I was
So you'd be blameless if you left me
And I would have to understand
What don't you see now this is crazy
You could find a better man

You love me
When I'm anything but lovely
When no one else would want me
Your love holds on

In the middle of the night you love me
First thing in the morning
When I'm fast asleep and helpless
You don't love me any less
I'm less than a man ever should be
And all the odds are against me
You love me
You love me
You love me

Like a River

Have you ever just sat and watched a river? It's very self-reflective when you think about it. When still, it shows exactly what's around with almost succinct clarity. It's peaceful, beautiful, and the very image of refreshment. But all that's needed is a boat or a storm to rock its waters and send waves rippling, but yet that doesn't change the fact that it's a river - clear and unbroken. Think about it! When we are still and find peace in our lives, we can most clearly discern God's will, best do His bidding, and thus portray the image of Whom we were created in. Everything seems to fall into place from that moment and float on. But let a calamity or a drastic change strike and it rocks our stability, makes us question our direction, weakens our faith, and yet never changes who God made us to be and the beauty remaining in His creation, with the promise of it being being restored in full soon.

Think...think...think

It's struck me recently how the value of thought in this upcoming generation has digressed rapidly. We're constantly thwarted with the advertisements encouraging us to relax, take the easy way out, let someone else do it for you, and only worry about what you want, not the needs or desires of others around you. But is this what God really intended for us? I think not.

I've recently been reading the Harris' book "Do Hard Things" and it's been exceptionally enlightening on this subject. I was talking to a friend recently about a girl that he liked and heard out his reasons for liking her. After hearing him out, I encouraged him to consider what he needed in a future wife and if she would fit that before trying to take the next step with her. He told me that he just wanted a Christian wife, plain and simple."I'm only 17! I don't have to worry about that stuff yet."

In the Harris' book, they argue that age isn't an excuse. The concept of the teenager/adolescence wasn't even around till the early 20th century and that people went from child to adult with no awkward stage in between. Granted, there was still learning to be had in the process, but the expectations were what made the difference.

The quote from the boy above reflects what culture has taught us today: that we as teenagers aren't expected to think about the future or work towards our goals yet, so why should we? Just because we're not in a position for getting that dream job yet, does not mean that we can't make steps towards it. There are always opportunities that God gives us every single day to grow, but putting off that opportunity for another day when we're older isn't an excuse. Make that day today, do hard things, and go above and beyond the expectations of those around you.

Part of This World & Set Apart

An enlightening comparison struck me this morning as I was sitting in the UTC cafeteria. I was sitting alone, attempting to study for a test I had this afternoon, but rather found myself sitting back and observing fellow students as they ate, talked, and rushed past in a blur. Surrounding me were groups of close companions chattering, lovers, loners, and socialites flitting from table to table to complete their rounds of greeting friends. In the commotion of students, however, the main items of conversation voiced varied with speeches including how a girl should, "back-hand slap that !*#!@", or comments of, "you look bored", in addition to the exclamation of, "Hey, baby!" filling the air. Amidst these fleeting moments of observation, I turned to see the group of RUF (Reformed University Fellowship) guys sitting, eating, and enjoying fellowship with each other and the leader, providing a stark contrast to the general crowd as they appeared peaceful and contented. Everyone in the "general" crowd just came across as stressed, busied, bored, or boisterous. For once in my life,the Christian life made sense to me in this moment in relation to the standard of living in the world, but not of it.

From a personal standpoint, there I was, sitting alone amongst this mass of students watching and even occasionally mingling, but on the whole, I was separate from them and I could sense it. I could feel how my purpose then and there was to keep my concern on my own work and development rather than worry over the fact that I was sitting alone, single, with homework staring me in the face with no one to rescue me as is my wont. Now here's the odd part: I was /happy/ with my position this time. More than anything, I was simply excited just for the privilege to focus on the work God had for me rather than wallowing in self pity. True, it was still a bit of a lonely chore, but for once I didn't mind. I knew that nearby were fellow believers of a similar mindset whom I could rely on and relate to, whenever might be needed.

This all ties to a new understanding I now have as a result of the purpose of belonging in a solid church. In our weekly lives, God has something for each one of us, whether it be work in the office, bettering our minds in education, or even taking a day to relax. But through it all, we are watching the world go by; a world we're meant to serve and protect in every way possible, but not mold ourselves to. In addition, we are being watched, though we're rarely aware of it.

Every day, we face temptations of all sorts - drugs, sex, peer pressure, cussing, violence...even sleeping when we have a more urgent job to do. But once a week, we have the opportunity for revival and refreshment from these temptations plus an opportunity to commune with fellow Christians who face the same trials as we do and worship the God who gives us the necessary strength to overcome these selfsame trials.

Though attending church isn't always our first choice for that one day in a week when we have other options of often much-needed sleep, relaxation, time with friends, or even to catch up on a homework assignment due the next day, a presentation for the office, or work around the house or garage, it is much more of a necessity to attend church instead than we may realize. It is our chance to properly glorify God, state to the world who we are and Who we serve, fellowship with others of our belief, receive the encouragement or instruction we need to press on in the fight during the week, and better understand the character of God and His relationship with us.

As I was sitting and reflecting still, a gospel choir began performing a brief selection of praise songs. As soon as their voices were heard above the crowd, an especially brief hush fell over the throng of hustling and bustling students as all turned to see who these people were and what they were about. Once the phrase "hallelujah" escaped the singers' lips, most returned to their original occupations and tuned them out. A select few, including myself, however, stopped what they were doing, pulled out the earphones, looked on at the choir, and smiled. With these singers, it was obvious that they couldn't care less about how they stood out like a sore thumb with few heeding their songs. They were simply radiant with enjoying the music, the fellowship with each other, and praising God. I couldn't help but think that this was the attitude we should have each day as we go about our business - that of living each day as a song of praise, glorifying God in all we do, and shouting it to the world for all to hear whether they listen or no.

My Word is My Bond

The following is a former facebook note of mine:

I've been learning a lot in recent days as you may have noticed from a recent status that I posted on how much our actions can reflect not only on others, but on God. I used a selection of a quote that I read from Thomas Manton, quoted here in full: "Men are apt to think of God by his worshippers, and by the people that profess themselves near and dear to Him; therefore it concerns us to walk so that our lives may honour Him." This passage really hit home for me as I know recently my actions and even my thoughts little reflect what I'd want others to view as a representation of Christ. This also brought to mind the question of what values we as followers of Christ /should/ be focusing on. Love and outreach to the community are fantastic examples for others, but what about how we treat our fellows believers and close friends? What qualities are we presenting to them in our day to day lives? Two qualities that have really come to my attention lately are those of communication and dependability. After all, much of faith in God grows just through communication with Him directly to provide reassurance, comfort, and even lay our problems on Him. Why do we do this? Because we can depend on God.

There was a time when a handshake or a man's word would be enough to secure a deal, but in today's world, one must have a signed and notarized legal document in which one or both parties can sue if the other does not fulfill their end of the deal. People have become so forgetful of their commitments in day to day life that these contracts could come in handy when scheduling appointments and a person's word is meaningless. The frightening thing is when Christians are the ones who are failing the most and regret to see the importance of these things. To quote Manton again, "We seem to exalt God much in our talk and profession; yea, but we throw Him down, when we pollute Him and deny Him in our conduct." I know even I am prone to do so, but many are afraid to commit to minute things today by utilizing the phrases "maybe", "we'll see", or "if nothing else comes up,". How does this come across to someone who is observing you from a distance as you leave a safeguard, afraid of the initial commitment in case something better or "more important" comes up. Not to mention, whatever person, albeit a friend, relative, significant other, or acquaintance, how do you think that person you're brushing off feels when you're reluctant to give your word? These little lapses in faithfulness may seem small or insignificant at first glance but points to what we may become in the future. One little lapse, once dismissed, leaves so much room for it to become a pattern as "it was just one mistake" and then leads to a reputation as such. Do we, as Christians, really want to be known for not being dependable when we're supposed to follow the Ultimate One to depend on? If we can't honor God in the little things, how can we honor Him on the larger scale?

I encourage you to leave your thoughts, questions, and comments in response to this, provided they are in the spirit of love and please, no personal accounts using real names.